Well, I saw Prometheus today. It wasn't the worst film ever, nor was it the best either, but it was a good film to learn from. First, I decided early on to mentally separate it from the Alien franchise. That turned out to be a good thing. All in all, it was beautiful but incoherent. I loved Captain Janek and his crew. They made sense for the most part. The FX is nice to see on the big screen. It was marginally entertaining. Oh, and there's no reason for that film to be in 3D. Sorry, Hollywood. Stop that shit.

It seemed like there were too many plot-threads being woven together for the scriptwriter to manage. None were resolved--not really. The characters' motivations didn't seem to exist. People seemed to be randomly doing shit for the sake of randomly doing shit. So, there lacked any logical flow. The emotional aspects of their actions didn't fit either. The only plot that came close to working was the one involving Peter Weyland, David, and Meredith Vickers. It was the classic story of a bitter old, dying King with no son with which leave his kingdom. (However, he has a brilliant daughter, but you know, women for some reason can't inherit or something.) So, he creates a robot son. Naturally, there is a great deal of rivalry between David and Vickers. The King is on a goose-chase for immortality. The Princess doesn't want him to go. He goes anyway because he's the freaking king. She goes because she loves him.  That's the only plot that made sense.

For the record, I really liked the parallels drawn between David and Lawrence of Arabia. Pinocchio has been done to death. The Tin Man was Star Trek's bit. Bravo for selecting a great literary reference. Unfortunately, they didn't sew it up by demonstrating David's struggle duel citizenship/loyalties, or his slavery, or abuse, or confusion regarding his identity, or any of the other themes in Lawrence of Arabia. They abandoned all that gold with the potential for AMAZING for the next bit which just made me want to slap a director in the face.

Next up: we have the "scientists searching for God" schtick. That plot-nugget hasn't worked out for almost anyone who has dusted it off and given it a run around the galaxy. Why? Because in order for that to work the scriptwriter has to commit to being all right with the existence  of religion and God--which, let's face it, a majority of science fiction writers aren't. They want technology to be the ultimate god and religion. So, they quietly sneer. It's flat out ludicrous  for  atheists  to write hunting for God stories because they can't write convincing characters who would devote their lives to such a search--unless they're crazy. Spending billions requires real believers--not agnostics and  atheists. God doesn't exist for  atheists,  and agnostics are okay with the answer "I don't know." The end. They wouldn't spend billions to search for an answer they already have. It makes no sense. That's why this shit doesn't work. Stop doing it. You can't half ass it and then whip out with "Gee, God doesn't exist." There's no surprise. It's dead boring. Think about it. Maria Doria Russell's The Sparrow works so well because she created characters who genuinely believe--who would do anything for their faith. Russell doesn't apologize for them. She doesn't make them look like religious morons. Nor does she put a choke collar on them. She let's them do as genuine believers would do. That's what's so heartbreaking. That's why it works so well. This is not a plot you can half ass, people. It's serious shit. As Aunt Jet says, "And this is what comes from dabbling; I mean you can't practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it." 

To put it another way: if you're uncomfortable with the subject, don't write about it. Write what you love. Don't write what you hate. It just doesn't work.

Anyway, the other things that David does make no sense. How does reenacting everything that Ash and Carter Burke do make any sense at all? David's directive is to get his "father" to the aliens so that his father might beat death. Birthing monsters isn't on his agenda. The things that Dr. Shaw does don't make much sense. Okay. She's on a holy quest. Um, why the fuck would she trust David? He murdered her lover via genetic poison, impregnated her with a genetic monster, and attempted to prevent her from terminating the pregnancy. As for Dr. Holloway, he was a moron. Why did the geophysicists get lost inside the cave when the biologists didn't? Why didn't anyone on the ship discover they were lost earlier? Don't you have cameras, tracking devices, and oh, I don't know AUDIO monitors on them? Isn't the geologist the one making the fucking maps?

Wall to wall sloppy writing. That's my verdict. It's pretty. But pretty with cool FX doesn't carry a film. Good storytelling does. We've learned this lesson. Can we please stop making that mistake now?